Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Cynthia say when her dog bit into her rye bread sandwich?

Something is awry!

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between Moby Dick and a blues band?

One is a blue whale, and the other is a blue wail.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the family call their evening meals at their round dining room table?

The nights of the round table.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who used to be a pert?

An ex-pert.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an item in a store where the price tag is unreadable?

Priceless.

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Akiva Lane
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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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Akiva Lane
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When Bob went camping, why did he avoid touching the tents?

He didn't want to feel tents.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the circus strongman react when he found out he had an iron deficiency, though he could bend iron with his bare hands?

He found it ironic.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a Polish person who is fishing?

A fishing Pole.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the ferris wheel owner feel about having almost no customers?

He felt like he was just spinning his wheels.

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