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Akiva Lane
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What do air conditioning installers do to save space?

They get all their ducts lined up.

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What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

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How did the rose deal with the challenges of life?

It always rose to the occasion.

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Why did the bed feel bad?

When people slept on it, it felt under a rest.

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Why was Beverly annoyed at the large window?

Because it was a big pane.

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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

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How did the pitcher learn to throw curve balls?

It was a learning curve.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

Congress.

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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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What is similar between the Amazon jungle and tennis?

The Amazon used to have cannibals and tennis has a can of balls.

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