Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What gift does the soccer player not like to receive?

He doesn't like ties, he prefers to get victories.

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What do you call a group of smart men?

Intelli gents.

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What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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Why did Martha carry a small rock with her?

To remind her that sometimes life is hard.

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Why is ethics like art?

You have to know where to draw the line.

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Why are all fish stores in Finland kosher?

Because they have Finns and scales.

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What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

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What is a happy insect called?

An uptick.

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Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

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What did Alan say about his daughter traveling so much after she won the state's beauty contest?

I miss miss Missouri.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the best month to buy and sell jewelry?

Jewel-eye.

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