Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

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Akiva Lane
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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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Akiva Lane
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If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

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How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

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What are batteries called when they no longer work?

Badderies

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Why did Amanda enjoy re-reading books by James Joyce?

She liked re-Joyce-ing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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What did the sweet potato with amnesia say?

I don't know who I yam.

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What is ironic about Greenland and Iceland?

Greenland is mainly ice, and Iceland is mainly green.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Charlie feel when he lost his list of things to do?

He felt listless.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of an animal allows it to conceal itself?

It's hide.

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