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What math term did Alice not like?

The mean.

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What did the doctor say to the sick person who was too much in a rush?

I'll be doctor, you be patient.

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How does a doctor thank someone for referrals?

Thank you for your patients.

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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

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What do taxi companies and computer devices have in common?

They both use drivers.

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Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

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Why did Sam look online for a site that sold scratch?

He wanted to build things from scratch.

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What does someone say to a friend who he thinks is too optimistic?

You topian!

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What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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What Beatles song is about a bee in a vegetable garden?

Lettuce bee.

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What illness do birds get after they fly a lot?

The flew.

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