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Akiva Lane
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Why was Walt Disney happy after visiting Mickey Mouse in the hospital?

Because he saw that Mickey was very animated.

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Akiva Lane
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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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Akiva Lane
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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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How did Jerry feel about missing out on the sale to learn kick-boxing for a year for free?

He could have kicked himself.

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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a website that tells you one fact after another?

A factory.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia put on a hat whenever she wanted to keep a secret?

Because she had to keep the secret under her hat.

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What does a person say who lives in a suite of rooms in a hotel?

Home suite home.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of eyes are good for saving money?

Econom eyes.

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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

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