Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a parrot chews off and swallows the weak end of a stick?

A weekend in parrots.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's tongue always hurt?

Every time he wanted to say something that he shouldn't say, he bit his tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of thinking is required to put together furniture from IKEA?

Out of the box thinking.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Mr. & Mrs. Auer call eating a meal together?

They called it our Auer hour.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Billy ask to borrow his friend's shoes?

Because he was told not to judge someone until you stand in their shoes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the chiropractor avoid doing anything too experimental with his patients?

He was concerned it might backfire.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan give pennies to people in the street?

He felt the people would benefit by common cents.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of an animal allows it to conceal itself?

It's hide.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a jacket without curves?

A strait jacket.

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