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What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

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What is good name for a men's clothing store in Thailand?

Tie Land.

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Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

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If there was an earthquake in California, who would be blamed?

People would probably say it was San Andreas fault.

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How do the bags in the supermarket feel?

They are fit to be tied.

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How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

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What kind of animal tries to keep all the bushes to itself?

A hedgehog.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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What do you call a bar that serves chocolate?

A chocolate bar.

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What do sales people, bartenders, and baseball teams have in common?

They all have pitchers.

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