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Akiva Lane
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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Emily do when all the potato chips fell on the floor?

She let the chips fall where they may.

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Akiva Lane
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What 5 one syllable words rhyme and are all dramatic?

Purge, surge, urge, merge, and splurge.

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Akiva Lane
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If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

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Akiva Lane
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What do great track stars and confused people have in common?

They run around in circles.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

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Akiva Lane
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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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Akiva Lane
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What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

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What is a motorcycle that attacks people called?

A vicious cycle.

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Akiva Lane
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What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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