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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

1989

What did Emily do when all the potato chips fell on the floor?

She let the chips fall where they may.

604

What 5 one syllable words rhyme and are all dramatic?

Purge, surge, urge, merge, and splurge.

2639

If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

250

What do great track stars and confused people have in common?

They run around in circles.

2128

What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

1255

What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

913

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

3217

What is a motorcycle that attacks people called?

A vicious cycle.

769

What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

1141

How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

119