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Akiva Lane
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Why did the mint chocolate candies look so fresh and clean?

Because they were in mint condition.

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Akiva Lane
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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Akiva Lane
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What psychological issue does this represent?

De pendant C.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between certain blood types and a spelling error?

One is a type-O, and the other is a typo.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Bill say when he brought his bike to the bike store to have the brakes fixed?

Give me a break!

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Akiva Lane
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What game does this represent?

The rose bowl.

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Akiva Lane
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What do people say when they think something you said is not funny?

Very funny.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't the company making money?

Its strategy made no cents.

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Akiva Lane
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When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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