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Akiva Lane
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How do the bags in the supermarket feel?

They are fit to be tied.

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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

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Why did the father bring a broken cup to the family meal?

He wanted to play good-cup bad-cup with his kids.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe an exciting job in advertising?

It's an ad-venture.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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What arm of the octopus is the strongest?

The Arm E.

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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

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Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

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Akiva Lane
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When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

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Akiva Lane
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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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