Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Andrea make beautiful drawings?

That's how she drew attention to herself.

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Akiva Lane
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Why should you take a sharp pencil seriously?

It has a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the way that cows chew their cud similar to letters to the editor?

They both involve feedback.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill and Eddie start their company at the radar dish?

Because they wanted the business to be under the radar.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't Alan impressed with the running track inside of the windmill?

It was just run of the mill.

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Akiva Lane
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If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

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Akiva Lane
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Would anyone make or buy an odor-less perfume?

No, that would be non-scents.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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