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What's another name for Shakespeare in the Park, that does not charge an entrance fee?

Free Will.

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What is the border between Finland and Russia called?

The Finish line.

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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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When you put smart technology into a house, what does it become?

Aware house.

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Why did Amy avoid dating men who publish magazines?

She found they often had issues.

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Why did Martha practice drawing lions?

Her therapist said that there were times she had to get better at drawing the lion.

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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

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How did Jeff feel when his favorite porpoise in the aquarium was very sick?

He felt like he no longer had a porpoise.

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What was it called when Pierre welcomed and praised his guests over a glass of wine?

French toast.

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What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

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What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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