Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the dolphin depressed?

It felt it had no porpoise in life.

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Akiva Lane
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How was Bill's mug shot that was taken when he was arrested by mistake?

The picture didn't do him justice.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

Why should a person not use black envelopes?

People mind think it's black mail.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

How do you describe a person's writing that has lots of verbs?

It re-verb-erates.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cane called that a shepherd uses to get animals to move faster?

A hurry cane.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is the difference between a real man and one that is not real?

One is Sir Real, and the other is surreal.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about these workers?

They are onion-ized.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

When Mitchel lost money in a risky investment, why did he feel like his clean suit?

Because they had both been taken to the cleaners.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a farmer who makes medicine from the food he grows?

A farmacist.

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