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Akiva Lane
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What does someone say who loves using thyme as a spice?

"Thyme is of the essence" or "I just need more thyme".

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Akiva Lane
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What name did Mr. and Mrs. Tross have second thoughts about naming their baby boy?

Albert.

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Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mark feel when he used a machine to get rid of his static?

He felt ex-static.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Beverly annoyed at the large window?

Because it was a big pane.

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How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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What do you call a daisy with a bad sense of balance?

A whoopsie daisy.

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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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What happened when a tree doctor put the bark of an oak tree on a maple tree?

It didn't work, because he was barking up the wrong tree.

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