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Do people gain weight as they get older?

If they do, it's a waist of time.

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What did Bill say when he found out that his hotel reservation was upgraded to 2 connecting rooms?

How suite it is!

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What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

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How did Bill like making food on the grill?

It was grate.

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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

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What seven letter word for a tree has all 5 vowels?

Sequoia

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What is similar between getting off drugs and the day after Thanksgiving?

Cold turkey.

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What 2 letters are similar to jealousy?

NV

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What is a child called that walks and talks?

A walkie talkie.

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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Why did Sam dislike going across the bridge on the way to work?

He found that every day it took its toll.

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