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Akiva Lane
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What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

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What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

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What is the result of a person being cold to others?

He becomes ice-olated.

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How did the circus strongman react when he found out he had an iron deficiency, though he could bend iron with his bare hands?

He found it ironic.

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What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

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Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

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What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

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What is a cartoon of puppets on strings called?

Suspended animation.

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Akiva Lane
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What is getting internet sales for scary movies called?

Eeek! commerce.

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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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What relationship involves the law of gravity at the center of the solar system?

The sun-in-law.

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