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How did Bill feel when he was preparing his taxes?

He felt the taxes were attacks.

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Why did Jim feel bad when he heard that the US will stop making pennies?

He thought it didn't make cents.

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What did Betty call the fish meals that she loved eating?

Delicious fishes.

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How would you describe this?

Spring is in the air.

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What is similar between paying to use a towel at the gym, and a roll of Bounty towels?

One is a pay-per towel, and the other is a paper towel.

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What do you call a pair of pants that wants to be forever young?

Peter pants.

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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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What is it called if a baseball pitcher throws a small model of an elevator?

An elevator pitch.

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What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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Where can you go when you're tired?

You can go to bed and go to sleep.

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