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Akiva Lane
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What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

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Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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How did Emma feel when she unexpectedly married a great guy?

It was a Sir Prize surprise.

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What did it mean when the professional football players argued with the prisoners in a football game?

The argument had its pros and cons.

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What is the motto of a store that sends packaged liver to customers?

We deliver de liver.

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If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

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What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

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What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

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What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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What do you call periodicals that discuss Make America Great Again?

Maga Zines

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Why was Ed surprised he had a moustache?

He didn't shave there for a while, and it happened under his nose.

1980