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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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What is inside a box of matches that falls from the sky?

A match made in heaven.

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How do you compare the words Mercy (English) and Merci (French)?

Mercy is what one asks for, and Merci is what one says after getting it.

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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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How do you get rid of weeds?

You have to get to the root of the problem.

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Why did Betty hold things very tightly when things got tough?

She didn't want things to get out of hand.

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Why are all fish stores in Finland kosher?

Because they have Finns and scales.

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Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

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What is a body of water on the moon called?

Luna sea.

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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

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What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

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