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Akiva Lane
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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

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Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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What does a hiker sleep on?

A nap-sack.

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What can you say about these workers?

They are onion-ized.

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What do you call a ball that looks like the earth and lights up?

A global glow ball.

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Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

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What did people call the baseball game where everyone got hits that got them onto first base?

A singles event.

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Why did Bill take sleeping lessons?

He wanted to sleep well.

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What vegetable do you not want to take onto a boat?

A leek.

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