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How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

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How did the teacher feel when he realized that no one was paying attention to him?

He felt like he was the chairman of the bored.

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When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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How is America similar to those who figured out how to make a bus that looked like a cylinder?

Column bus discovery

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What is an imaginary ocean?

A fanta-sea.

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What do you call a Jewish congregation in Orange County that tries to focus on their prayers?

Concentrated Orange Jews.

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Why didn't Bill like going to the aquarium?

He thought there was something fishy about the place.

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What's the motto of a clothing maker that encourages young men to wear vests?

Go vest, young man, go vest.

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What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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