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What is the difference between a park and a mental institution?

The park has cycle paths.

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How did Nancy feel when the lemon-sugar pie she made fell on the floor?

It was a bitter-sweet experience.

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Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

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Why couldn't Alan sit in a chair when he worked?

He was a stand-up comedian.

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After Joe's dog Spot ran away, why was his house cleaner?

Because it was Spot-less.

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What do you call a group of crying babies?

A whinery.

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What kind of insect has a name that indicates that it's always running away?

The flea.

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What is another name for misleading and dangerous advertising?

Ad vice.

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What do you call spaghetti that is a double agent?

An im-pasta.

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How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

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Why is the plural of garbage garbage?

No matter how much garbage there is, it's still garbage.

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Why didn't Beverly believe anything written on the humidifier?

Because it was full of hot air.

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