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What does someone say to a friend who he thinks is too optimistic?

You topian!

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What part of a river is in the present?

Its currents.

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Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

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Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

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What is the different between a tree and an elephant?

A tree's trunk is its largest part.

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When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

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Why didn't Jerry mind if his dog didn't tell the truth when the dog was asleep?

Because he let sleeping dogs lie.

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What do you call a Jewish congregation in Orange County that tries to focus on their prayers?

Concentrated Orange Jews.

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What does life have in common with arithmetic?

It has its pluses and minuses.

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What is the study of the family history of Genies called?

Genie-ology.

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What did the tree do when it felt like just a stick in the mud?

It branched out.

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What position in the armed forces is just below Marine?

Submarine.

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