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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when you're on a boat and invite people to play and no one shows up?

You're not playing with a full deck.

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Akiva Lane
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What do longshoremen and medical secretaries have in common?

The both work at the docs.

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What does a lawyer and someone who gave up liquor have it common?

They both passed the bar.

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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Akiva Lane
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If your dog is not telling the truth while it is sleeping, what should you do?

As the saying goes, let sleeping dogs lie.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jerry fly in a plane when he had a cold?

When he felt under the weather, he wanted to go over the weather.

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Akiva Lane
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Can you believe someone who eats steak from a male cow?

No, because he is full of bull.

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What is a cold part of South America?

Chile.

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What did the sweet potato with amnesia say?

I don't know who I yam.

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What is clothing from Italy called?

Italian dressing.

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What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

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