Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why was Fred concerned he was making too much noise while sleeping?

Because he slept so soundly.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the comb feel after it had its teeth made thinner?

It felt fine.

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Akiva Lane
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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jerry feel about missing out on the sale to learn kick-boxing for a year for free?

He could have kicked himself.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Barry wear an oxygen mask when he saw a beautiful sunset?

Because it took his breath away.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner try to break out of jail?

He figured that after all that jail time, he needed a break.

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Akiva Lane
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What bank manager has a white horse near him?

The loan arranger has his horse Silver.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

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Akiva Lane
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How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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