Pictures:

What is a good name for a company that certifies bones for dogs to chew on?

Bone-a-fide

2584

Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

1378

When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

955

How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

1767

How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

392

What do you call a student with a private tutor?

He's in a class all by himself.

35

What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

2542

How did Nancy feel when the lemon-sugar pie she made fell on the floor?

It was a bitter-sweet experience.

541

What bread is similar to money that was gotten illegally?

Sour dough.

2983

What do Siamese twins say to each other before dinner?

Would you like to join me before dinner?

2757

How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

964

What do garbanzo beans have in common with a sedative for chickens?

Chick peace.

2312