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What did the doctor say when his nurse said there was a man in the waiting room who was disappearing?

Tell him I can't see him now.

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What does a person say who lives in a suite of rooms in a hotel?

Home suite home.

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What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

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Why was Emily very careful when she made right and left turns with the car?

Because one good turn deserves another.

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What do you call a story about a mouse that lives in 2 cities?

A Tail Of Two Cities.

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What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

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What do you call a state that is really into dancing?

A swing state.

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What is a walking cane called that helps a person walk very quickly?

A hurry cane.

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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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Why did people think the silent owl didn't care about things?

Because it didn't give a hoot.

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What is the lesson of daylight savings time?

If clocks can change, so can we.

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