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Akiva Lane
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What happened when Anne went to the used watch store to fix her watch?

She got a second hand second hand.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Johnny want to wear fringes on his clothes like some of his friends?

He didn't want to be part of a fringe group.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the combination of a man and a lima bean?

A human bean.

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Akiva Lane
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When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe an exciting job in advertising?

It's an ad-venture.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the nickname of the orchestra conducter for the orchestra whose nickname was 'Heat'?

'Metal', because Metal conducts Heat.

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Akiva Lane
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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens when a problem is solved twice?

It is resolved.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a demonstration at a diner?

A counter-demonstration.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare the words Mercy (English) and Merci (French)?

Mercy is what one asks for, and Merci is what one says after getting it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the Jones family put pails at the edge of their property?

Because everthing after that was beyond the pail.

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Akiva Lane
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What are people called who have a tendency to act on a whim?

Whim-men.

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