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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of the rock band that sings about failure?

Rock Bottom

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call tea that reduces intelligence?

Stupidi-tea.

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What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the world think about Edison's invention of the light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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Akiva Lane
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What relationship involves the law of gravity at the center of the solar system?

The sun-in-law.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good ad slogan for the Grates metal company?

Get great grates at Grates grates.

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Akiva Lane
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What does superman use to keep the sun from his eyes?

A super visor.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a hiker sleep on?

A nap-sack.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of Queens, New York needs the most water?

Flushing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007