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What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

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What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt?

A Cairo Practor.

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What do you call birds who go to a house of worship?

Birds of pray.

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What must we make sure about a peace process?

That it's not an appease process.

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What did people call their activity of dashing things over the cliffs onto the rocks 100 yards below?

The hundred yard dash.

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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

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What did Jimmy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

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What do bats celebrate when they come of age?

Their bat mitzvah.

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If you put blue berries deep in the ground, what are they called?

Very buried berries.

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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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