Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do you call a woodworker who can make a chair out of a flat piece of wood?

Chair man of the board.

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Akiva Lane
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Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because it was a little hoarse.

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Akiva Lane
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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a ball that looks like the earth and lights up?

A global glow ball.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a lawyer and someone who gave up liquor have it common?

They both passed the bar.

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Akiva Lane
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How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Barry say when he saw his neighbor put a muzzle on his dangerous dog?

Muzzle Tov!

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Akiva Lane
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What 5 one syllable words rhyme and are all dramatic?

Purge, surge, urge, merge, and splurge.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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