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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the nickname of the orchestra conducter for the orchestra whose nickname was 'Heat'?

'Metal', because Metal conducts Heat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Gary want to walk too far for ideas?

Because then they would be far-fetched.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Akiva Lane
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How do people sometimes feel when they are given the cold sholder?

Ice-olated.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good slogan for a company that makes lox?

We know the key to the lox.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the land called where an acting troupe builds a stage?

A play ground.

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Akiva Lane
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What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Martha react when she saw that her bank account went from minus to plus?

She saw it as a good sign.

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Akiva Lane
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When Shakespeare had writer's block, what was his motto?

Where there's a Will, there's a way.

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Akiva Lane
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Why the quarterback run with the ball?

When he didn't see any receivers, his original plan didn't come to pass.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of thinking do you need to eat Cracker Jack?

Out of the box thinking.

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