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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who takes dents out of cars?

A dentist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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What can you say about the stories of how staples, paper-clips, and thumb-tacks were developed?

They are all fasten-ating.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Marty use as a guide to make decisions?

Ascend if sends a good scent and makes sense.

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Akiva Lane
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How can you help people who are suspicious?

Change the first letter of suspicious from S to A, to make it auspicious.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a donkey being pulled similar to Mickey Mantle?

They are both yank-ees.

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Akiva Lane
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What do they say about the tree that was cut down because it no longer had leaves?

It was absent without leaves.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the moose get into the restaurant?

The customer asked for mousse, and the waiter brought him one.

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Akiva Lane
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If seagulls fly near the sea, what birds fly near the bay?

Bagels.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when athletes learn to do the high jump?

Spring training.

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Akiva Lane
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What do forests and clocks have in common?

Ticks.

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