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Why did the bartender put rolls on the bar next to the drinks?

His motto was 'Roll with the punches'.

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During the truce in a war, what soup did both sides eat?

Peas soup.

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Why did the chiropractor avoid doing anything too experimental with his patients?

He was concerned it might backfire.

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What sentence commemorates how Isaac, Jacob, and Moses met their wives.

Well, well, well.

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Why did the prisoner break out of jail?

Because he couldn't finish a sentence.

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How do we always know who a child's mother is?

When she is pregnant and gives birth, it's apparent.

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What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

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Why did Joe race Fred to the punch-bowl at the party?

He wanted to beat him to the punch.

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What is an army of babies called?

Infantry.

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What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

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How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

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When you're tired and want to take a nap, in what bag can you find the naps?

A nap sack.

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