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What are the germs on a person's back called?

Back-teria.

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Why was Jim hesitant about becoming a patient in a mental hosptial?

He wasn't really committed.

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Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

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What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

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What kind of cats are good at imitating?

Copy cats.

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Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

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What must we make sure about a peace process?

That it's not an appease process.

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What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

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What is a group of pictures of people laughing called?

Laughing stock.

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Why did the maple tree feel bad?

When people took its maple syrup, it felt like such a sap, and it sapped its energy.

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What is a good ad slogan for the Grates metal company?

Get great grates at Grates grates.

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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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