Pictures:

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream parlor?

He wanted the inside scoop.

968

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

962

What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters.

Post Office.

956

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

How do trash collectors learn their trade?

They pick things up as they go along.

973

What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

967